Someone was driving me the other day. As soon as I got into the car, I fastened my seat belt unconsciously, as my custom is. He noticed and asked, “Are those Road Safety Corps officials out on the road today so that I can fasten my own seatbelt too?”😁
I replied, “I do not know if they are on the road today or not. This is my default setting every single time I get into a car, whether I am driving or I am being driven: I always fasten my seatbelt.”
This exchange got me thinking.
I quickly saw a correlation between my driver’s attitude and many couples’ attitudes. Isn’t it commonplace to base our actions on external factors instead of inner persuasions?
Let me cite a few very practical examples:
- Basing your actions on whether your partner or anyone else will find out. So if there is a possibility of not being found out, the chances are higher that you would engage in such conduct.
- Waiting for your partner to fulfill their own obligations in the relationship first, before you fulfill yours. Essentially just basing even your acceptance of them on their performance.
- Putting on a facade of cooperation and agreeableness when under scrutiny, while remaining unpersuaded and unyielding inwardly. Being two-faced depending on who is watching or who you’re with.
- Not living and doing life with your partner based on your values and character. Instead choosing to pick and choose when to act nobly.
- Not being consistent in your conduct.
When it comes to building a lasting marriage relationship, consistency in character is invaluable.
Your spouse should be able to ‘predict’ your choices, especially in issues that border on the display of character or values.
You must be unwavering in your investment into making your marriage work. Whether it be daily attention, being present emotionally, being thoughtful, being committed to the growth and progress of the marriage, etc
There is a need for everyone to settle this truth in their hearts: doing the right thing in and of itself is enough motivation!
Whether you will be seen or not, applauded or not, or whether anyone will hold you accountable or not, do the right thing!
For the avoidance of doubt, I am not dismissing the need for you to take care of yourself as a person. Just as long as you stay within the boundaries of integrity, and are not over much carried away only by convenience.
The following quotes drive it home succinctly:
Hot Tip:
What are your values as a person? Do marriage (and life) from there. Stop allowing external factors to determine how you behave in your marriage.
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Rooting For Your Marital Success,
Dele Bamgboye
