Not every time is cuddle time.
Not every time is talking time.
“Really? Even in marriage?”
Oh, absolutely!
One of the most vital and greatly misunderstood demands of married life is the Need To Respect Each Other’s Alone Time.
“Aren’t we supposed to be together as much as possible? Doesn’t proximity enhance intimacy in marriage?”
Yes, but then life happens: stress at work, looming deadlines, business uncertainties, school work, and sometimes just plain burn-out.
You and your spouse need time alone and that’s okay.
It’s called self-care and it’s vital in order for a marriage to thrive.
Everyone needs some space and some time alone from time to time.
“Why,” you may ask?
To recharge.
To re-energize.
To grow.
To pray.
To think.
To strategize.
To process stuff etc.
Even in marriage being in each other’s company 24/7 can get to anyone.
See your spouse’s alone time as a time he/she needs FOR himself and not a time away FROM you.
Understand too that your spouse needs time alone with their friends, colleagues, family etc. and to pursue personal interests periodically.
Let me do a quick DISCLAIMER and provide some context here.
I am in no way advocating any of the following:
Isolation
Malice
Stonewalling
Ignoring spouse
Silent treatment
Depressive mood
Loneliness
Spending more time with others than with your spouse
Refusing to engage or connect emotionally etc
I am referring to the occasional healthy need to have some personal space to nourish one’s soul which leads to becoming a less-stressed and better spouse.
It does not have to tamper with being rooted and invested in the marriage; it rather enhances the bond between the two of you.
Let that happen in your marriage, ok?
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