Before and Beyond

The Demands of Married Life 3

Ask yourself: 

“What matters more to me? My wanting to get my way or my need for peace?”

I guess your answer will be “peace by all means.”

Well then you need to pay close attention to this next demand of married life. 

Marriage, in order to be successful requires  reciprocity. That is give and take. That is compromise, ( and for context I am not referring to compromising your values and indulging your spouse to break the law or engage in anything harmful in any way).

Both of you must commit to not only taking from your spouse and marriage, but also giving to your spouse and to the marriage. Over and over again.

You see, marriage is a two-way street. There is a need to take your spouse into consideration in your day to day choices and actions. 

You cannot think of only yourself and your preferences alone all the time. That is an individualistic mindset. Marriage doesn’t work like that.

MY needs, MY expectations, MY feelings, MY opinions, MY agenda, MY career, MY family etc. 

When you get married, you sign up to show consideration for your spouse’s feelings, interests, needs, desires, and preferences.

It is not fair if only one person feels like they are giving more than they are receiving. For example: providing, taking care of bills, apologizing, chores, initiating reconciliation etc.

Both parties should be giving and getting what makes you happy. BOTH OF YOU!

Reciprocity is all about compromise;

choosing to travel farther to the centre.

It shouldn’t always be about you and your preferences alone.

It shouldn’t always be your way all the time.

You should be willing to forgo some of your preferences in deference to your spouse’s preferences from time to time.

Remember, if your spouse is miserable you will be too.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *